Here at The Gifted we support young women with their self-esteem & self-identity while discovering their natural gifts and aspirations. A key way to feel good about yourself is to have supportive relationships right?
Meeting your ideal partner is exciting and can feel amazing. But how do you know if this intimate and romantic relationship is unhealthy or healthy? Is it all about what the person does do or doesn’t do? Or is the healthy/unhealthy perspective only about how they make you feel?
Take this scenario:
A 16-year-old girl meets 19-year-old guy: He has his own car, he takes her out to nice places and pays her compliments when she wears lots of make-up, bling jewellery and tight-fitting clothing. This makes her feel grown up. The more he compliments her, the more she wants to dress up for her “man”.
Would you date this person?
The young woman in this situation may be getting some wanted attention based on her looks. But the truth is he doesn’t listen to a word she says. He dismisses everything straight away – it’s his way or no way.
He often gives her the silent treatment and so she feels she is not truly heard or understood. When she tries to express her true feelings, he insults her and makes her feel small and unworthy, saying her problems are her fault and she must be crazy; but, he doesn’t hit her.
Would you stay with this person? What advice would you give this young woman? How common do you think this is?
According to a 2015 Home Office report, 75% of girls and 50% of boys reported some form of emotional relationship abuse.
Source: https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5a8026bce5274a2e87db826d/teen-abuse-teachers-guide.pdf
Relationship abuse is increasingly common
Last year, at The Gifted, we worked with as many as 30 girls and young women who had experienced relationship abuse, both emotional and sexual.
The understanding of consent needs to be addressed among teens and this is particularly true of Young Adults with S.E.N. (Special Educational Needs).
We provide a safe and supportive space for young people’s voice to be heard on issues that are affecting them. If you would like to join us in a live chat (online) about this and other themes that affect young people, then sign-up here to become a youth member. You can also have your voice heard by commenting below.
Teachers and schools can also book our assembly on ‘ABC in Relationships’ where we look at abuse, boundaries and consent.
Stay Safe and take care of You!
The Gifted Team
